Six Reflections on Life Post-Surgery
Sometimes it’s important to pause, give gratitude and celebrate. 365 days ago, I underwent major spinal surgery. It was my third surgery on my little scrawny “gooseneck”. It was a BFD.
When I was thinking about my message for this week, it was easy. There have been so many lessons for me over this past year that have helped me on my journey to think courageously.
I thought I would share a couple of these reflections…
When you have a rockstar support team, you can do anything. If you can let go and trust others to care for you, really care for you, every little thing will be alright (thank you Bob Marley)
You can say “yes” even when you are not 100% ready.
In April of 2022, I was part of the launch of an incredible project called "Elevate Your Voice." The book features stories of hope, courage, and resilience. My chapter in the book had great significance to me because it was about my grief journey.
What I can say, a year later, is that the other massive "aha" from writing this chapter was that I said "yes" to this opportunity two weeks after the surgery. I was literally in no position to say yes to this project. I couldn't turn my neck at all. I was exhausted all the time and falling asleep in my chair. My journey to recovery seemed long and arduous.
I really learned how to use talk to text apps. And now, a year later, I am so glad that I said "yes" to this opportunity. It was an honor to be part of such an incredible project and to contribute to a book that offers support and encouragement to others.
You have to set small goals and treat them like massive celebrations.
After my surgery, one of my big goals was to attend a concert at Musikfest. I'm a huge fan of Darius Rucker, and I didn't want to miss the festival. I was absolutely terrified. I was scared that somebody would bump into me, that I might trip and fall, or that there would be some other consequences for attending the concert. But I had the support of some dear friends, and they helped me get through the night. It was such a small win, but it was one of my favorite nights of all time.
You also have to be willing to say no. And trust the universe will have your back.
I've gotten so much clarity about boundaries this year. I pace myself in a different way than I did before this surgery. When I'm having a rough day, I stop early. I have minimized evening commitments. I follow my energy…which is always better in the morning than it is late in the day.
I’ve even said no to some business opportunities. As a business owner, it can be very difficult to say no. And yet, I have learned that if you have built the right kind of relationships with the people that you serve, they will give you the grace that you sometimes will not give yourself. Every time I have said no this year, I have trusted the universe and it has all worked out.
You have to let go of your old stories and be willing to write a new one.
It's so easy to get caught up in a story, especially one that we've been living with for a long time. For me, it was 10 years of chronic pain that informed almost every decision I made. But I'm done with that story now. In the past year, I have been intentional about letting it go. It doesn't mean that I don't still experience pain on a regular basis, but it does mean that I don't allow it to control my life anymore.
You have to redefine success on your own terms.
This one has been hard for me.
I have always thought of myself as an active person. Not an athlete but someone who could keep up a regular exercise routine.
And sometimes success is not a straight line. Sometimes you have to go one step forward and three steps back. I have been "dismissed" from physical therapy more than once in the last year. I've acted like "Mrs. Big Stuff'' when my trusted friend and therapist has given me the all clear.
Unfortunately, with all of the surgeries I've had, I sometimes find myself with a serious flair up which I categorize as a crisis. I initially got pretty emotional when I had to make the call to get back on my PT’s schedule. Feeling like a failure is not my style. And I equated these crisis visits as a colossal failure.
Now, I lovingly accept that I will have these setbacks and the only way to get through these times is to ask for help and go back to the practices that give me relief…including time at therapy.
You have to accept where you are on your journey vs. fight it.
Being active now means that I can take my doodles for a long walk every morning. And I savor every moment of it.
I practice gratitude everyday. I am grateful that my overall pain has improved. I am grateful that I have learned to listen more intuitively to my body. I am grateful that I can frame challenges as opportunities. And as always, I am grateful for the love and support of my incredible family and network of friends.
